POww

the days of exams, where children scream with glee and collegiates tinkle nervous pee. Well my first exam week of college was definitely a huge success. I was only an hour late to my speech final and my phone only went off two times to the tone of Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day" during the part of the exam that I was present. Oh, and today I went swimming at the school gym and this kid moses asked me if I was the girl in the pool so I was like yea, and then he preceded to talk about how he sucks at swimming and so I decided to thrown in a little self depreciating "I suck at swimming too," and to that Moses replied, I'm not gonna lie and say you looked good out there. And right after that slam bam he asked me what I was doing tonight so I was like I'm going home to my parents. POwW.

For all you sentimentalists out there, I have a parody song lyric for you from the song "I will be right there waiting for you," by Bryan Adams. I think the song title is creepy in as of itself, but i digress. So my new and improved lyrics to the song go,

"whatever you say, whatever you do, I will be right there pooing on you. Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, there is no way I'm talking to you."

Now I know as a fact within my soul bed that my readers are in tears right now, and probably slightly drunk, but that is all, and all is well.

oh and this is beckham with my face as a tattoo. I think it's class and sass in a bottle of water.

SO to williamsburg we traveled. on this wonderous trip our car door actually fell off our vehicle, on to the ground, we got stopped by a police vehicle undercover as a black honda, and me and my sister were harrased by a 60 year old pedi at sheetz.

Dear readers.

My birthday has been average so far. Me and my family celebrated my birthday feast style at Ruby Tuesdays and my skinno skinno Broseph Titus ordered nothing. ANd I got vanilla ice cream for free at Ruby's except I hate vanilla. CELEBREX. After that we went to startbucks and I was the only one who had anything. But wait! there's more, I got a hole in my white skirt that I wore to din din .

Today was the first day of the march for WAVBKFDD's(woman angainst Vera Bradley Kentucky Fried Ding Dong's). I was planning on attending the march following my afternoon class, but I tripped on my Crocs and twisted my vertibre only to slither down the side walk with my deformed face. Crocs are uggers, and now, so is my face.

I woke up and my eyes were super gigantica so I captures it on candid camera.

Since every stinking Kentucky fried idiot seems to be getting engaged, I decided to have a little engagement ceremony of my own. It was Epicurious. As the tears rolled down my cheek in utter emotional jubilee, I committed my life to taking care of my son Broseph. Broseph is my phone and he is super naughty. Many have asked me how did you come up with the spankin' hott chocolate name and I have answered with utter contempt at their idiocricy that it was naturally the most attractive name I could think of.